I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize