i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
