I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
