is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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