In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
