its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
