Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
