You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i think i just lost a toe
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
