i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
