people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
