Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
