In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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