booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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