I molested 6 butterflies tonight
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
