Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
