This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
