i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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