I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
