if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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