AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
