I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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