I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
