Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
