Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
