i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
