How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
