So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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