at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
