I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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