I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
