ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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