Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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