I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
