Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
