I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
