no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate your face
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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