i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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