You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
