Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
