I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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