I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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