on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
