Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
