You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
