And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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