I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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