singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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