i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Everything about him screamed your future.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
