I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
