Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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