This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Fuck appropriateness.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
