I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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