Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
