Why are handjobs necessary in class?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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