i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
