Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
40s are totally the cure
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
