The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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