You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
