i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
