Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
