What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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