I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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