let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
