life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
