I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
